Mother Theresa's Calcutta

I visited Motherhouse in Calcutta this morning. I went to Mass with the sisters and a load of volunteers. Father Maria Joseph, a Jesuit who I am working with this weekend, was kind enough to have one of the sisters unlock the museum and the room where Mother Theresa's tomb is. So I got my own private tour and experience, which was wonderful.

After touring Motherhouse and sitting in Mass with everyone, it makes my last blog seem kind of ridiculous.

The women there accept their work and their challenges with such grace, that it makes me envious, another thing I should probably feel bad about.

Now, for those that know me, know that I am not a graceful person - be it in the situation of a first kiss, or meeting new people or even trying to walk up a flight of stairs; grace is not my strong suit. But I am trying today to look at grace in a different way. Instead of wondering why I am in this situation or trying reframe it or imagine or draw my way out of it, instead of just running down the clock, I should look at where I am and what I am doing and appreciate the challenge. You know, with grace.

...keep in mind I am writing this while smoking a sneaky cigarette out the window of my room. Smoking isn't allowed on the premises of this Jesuit compound, and while I technically quit when I was in Omaha, I bought a survival pack on my arrival to Calcutta. So with one hand out the window, listening for footsteps of Jesuits in the hall, I am trying to write about grace.

Not very graceful, I know.

But I'm still trying to learn something. Maybe grace isn't about the way you carry yourself, or whether or not you sneak cigarettes or make bad jokes when you're uncomfortable with the new batch of Jesuits you've just been introduced to.

Grace, at least for me today, means being able to fully experience what you are doing while you are doing it. Accepting the difficulty as well as the achievements and just sitting with everything that is happening.

Easier said than done, for sure. But that's my goal for today. Work is hard. I am being eaten by mosquitos and I feel really really lonely. And that's all ok.