Bangkok don't know nothin about Christmas

As I was walking to work this morning, a mustache of sweat beads gathering above my lip in the humidity, I realized that it's kind of the Christmas season. I was reminded when I walked by a convention center and saw a towering Christmas tree on the lawn. It had perfectly spaced silver ornaments hanging from perfectly trimmed limbs.

Nice try Bangkok, but making it look that perfect means you clearly don't get it.

So, to all you Omahans out there. Please don't inform me about the Griswold-esque decorations people have sloppily hanging from their homes. Don't remind me how white twinkling lights on shrubs look under a fresh blanket of snow. And please don't list the Christmas songs KGOR will be playing 24-hours straight after Thanksgiving. I don't want to hear about it.

Besides, I won't be around anyway. I'll be getting a massage or $1 meal or enjoying any number of the things Thailand actually does right... just not Christmas.

This is what a Christmas tree is supposed to look like, Bangkok. Notice how you have to cut off 30 percent just to fir into the house. You have to tie it to the window because it's so lopsided. It is about the same width as length. Christmas is meant to be just a little bit tragic...