Dear Dad, life will go on after this Super Bowl

Dear Dad,

I just left the sports bar early so I could get to Skype because I am waiting for the news that you burned our house down. I hope this message gets to you before you smash all our dishes.

Listen, take it from a girl whose been broken hearted by many guys before. Payton is a jerk. And you can do better. You don't want a guy who won't work hard for your affections.

We've all been disappointed before by a man. It's hard to watch a man you love so much just break your heart like that. I know. I promise. But you know what, it gets better.

Little by little, this day will feel farther and farther in the past. I'm glad you retired recently, because I know there will be days and days of mourning. But one day soon, you'll wake up and hear birds chirping, feel the warm sun and think, Payton who?

For now, remember that life goes on. Cinnamon rolls still taste as sweet. Cocker spaniels are still just as cuddly. Bruno Mars is still a dreamboat.

I suggest you buy yourself a copy of "Eat, Pray Love", tear up your photos and love letters to Payton, and mix yourself a Skinny Girl Martini. That's what I do when a guy like Payton breaks my heart.

Just tell yourself that you are done being let down. And there is true love out there. You just need to find someone who won't let you down. And I think I've found just the guy. His name is Doug, and he is perfect for you. In fact, he lives just around the corner.

So, if you haven't thrown the remote out the window, once your ready, turn the channel and watch some Bluejays. Because unlike the Broncos, they are going all the way.