Wednesday, September 5, 2012

I didn't feel great


So there I was, bouncing up and down in the back seat of this truck, "Donated by the UN" painted in the UN blue on the side, slowly headed to the Nepal-India border. The roads are marked with killer potholes and we plowed our way through all of them.

I was sweating and coughing in the back, dreading having to go through airport security, baggage check and the flight itself back to Delhi.

I should explain that the week before, I was staying with the remarkable JRS team in Nepal to get information for the website I'm working on. When they found out I was sick, they mobilized like a small army to get me food and a fan and anything I would need. I felt embarrassed at the level they wanted to take care of me. "It's just a cold," I said. "I have been flying so much lately, I probably picked something up on one of those cesspool airplanes."

Well, it wasn't until I was hunched over, crying in some Bhutanese refugee-doctor's office that I realized I was wrong. I didn't have a cold. I had some throat infection. And I realized that yet again, my determination to never visit the doctor had failed me.

He said I would be fine to travel the next day. It wouldn't be pleasant but I would survive.

So this is how I would up in these dire straights, bouncing up and down in the truck with a bag of apples on one side, and a bag of medicine written in some foreign language on the other side.

I only tell this story to explain how I came to draw the above picture. Because I don't want people to make fuss over me. I don't want people to know I'm sick or sad or overwhelmed. I always want to be helpful, cheerful one, who everyone can depend on. I'm the "yes gal" who will do whatever you need.

But sometimes, I just feel like melting into the floor.

As always, ending on a high note. Watch this video and you can't help but feel WONDERFUL.

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